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Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
That awkward moment when you try to zoom in on Instagram and remember that you’re an idiot.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
TIP: If cars are passing you on the highway in the LEFT lane, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE RIGHT LANE!
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.