Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When people ask me what I did over the weekend, I always squint and respond “Why, what did you hear?”
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wish Tony the Tiger would burst into a raisin commercial and yell “They’re graaaapes!”
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
Who cares how I got inside your house. What matters is that we`re together now.
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.