Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…