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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
"it`s the thought that counts" doesn`t include showering. You have to actually do that.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?