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Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
This status is mine....I licked it.
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
Take me seriously at your own risk.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.