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Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan....
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.