Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
I hide my vodka in orange juice
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.