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United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
Iām late for a disappointment.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!