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Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
is tring to fool people into thinking I have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?