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To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There’s not a Single person in it…
Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?