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Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.