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If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
When I say ‘it’s a long story’, it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
Is Nudeism a religion?
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.