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something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.