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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....