Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
I don`t get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath