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My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"