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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Technically, it isn`t pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
I’ve found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore.