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There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...