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I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
Me, on phone to credit card company: What if you just break my kneecaps and we call it even?
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.