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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
New rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I`m guaranteed at least one attempt on trying to trip you.
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
This getting older thing really sucks. These days my eyes are so bad I have to buy the Large Print edition of Alphabet Soup.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........