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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
I always take a number at the deli, and I`ve been keeping them.... Eventually I`ll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn.
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.