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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.