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Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-a$$".
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
I think I might be bisexual. Because last night I had sex by myself.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.