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It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
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Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
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I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
If I ever go missing and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon.