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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a super-villain.
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, text them when you’re drunk.