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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?