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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Personally, I think failure should be an option
The only thing more amusing than someone leaving a voicemail is them asking if you actually listened to it.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.