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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn`t going to help him.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.