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Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I`d turn the radio down.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.
One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species