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So many rules; so little time to break them.
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I`ll be notified immediately.
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…