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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
No officer, my speech isn`t slurred. I`m just talking in cursive.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
Every day is just a new opportunity to eat pizza.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.