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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
take me drunk i`m home
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.