Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.