Daily Silly Status

For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.

Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.

Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.

My bank balance is a constant reminder that I`m safe from identity theft

Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?

My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile

Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"

You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.

FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.

They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don`t have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won`t look weird.

All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.

Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?