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Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END
This stupid lady is taking forever using her damn coupons for her groceries. All these rolls of pennies are heavy! Hurry up!
exercise........you mean extra fries
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I´m typing this with my middle finger.
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?