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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
So she asked me "Do these pants make my butt look big?" And I said, "Not at all dear .. its the fat that does that." So now I´m single again.
I’m quite confident that the reason I’m single is because I didn’t forward that chain letter in 2003.
bras are booby-traps
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.