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How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.