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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
People will do odd things to get even.
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
Please don`t hastag out loud...
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
I`m not real excited that the wrapping on my toilet paper said `100% Recycled`.