Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
My doctor says each piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life... If my math is right, I should`ve died in 1781...
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."