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Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
I’ve realized I get ridiculously nervous driving behind semi’s or trucks carrying sh!t that could fall out and impale me all because of final destination 2.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!