Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Sleep is my drug, the bed my dealer, the alarm clock the police.
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
This ramen noodle and vienna sausage dinner taste exactly like I made the wrong career choice :(
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?