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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!