Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
only fights if pillows are present.
Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
Just got rid of 150lbs of ugly fat ... Got divorced.