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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`.... I`ll turn around and look.
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.