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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
“The darndest things.” -kids
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.