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Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
A wasp just landed on my balls. Hardest decision of my life.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.