Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon Balls.
If you are used to seeing a fat, naked guy walk around his house, then you are probably my neighbor.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
After meeting me... my therapist is now in therapy...
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light