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Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation… My Czech is in the mail!
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."