Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
If you scream in a library, people just look at you funny. If you scream on an airplane, everyone joins in.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the sh!t out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes