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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
Gravity is a real downer.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.