Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.