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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
I just poured myself some iced tea. I could have sworn I heard one of the beers in my fridge whisper "What the F*ck!?"
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
My favorite beer is the next one.
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.