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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
When will math grow up and start solving its own problems
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.