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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.