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Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don`t know what he laced them with but I`ve been tripping all day.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
I laugh in the face of normal.
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
why do i feel like you are reading this
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.