Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.