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The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
Iβm jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
Some days itΒ΄s not worth chewing through the straps.