Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it so I wouldn’t have to throw out so many bananas.
My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.
If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
This getting older thing really sucks. These days my eyes are so bad I have to buy the Large Print edition of Alphabet Soup.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.