Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
You are here: X
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
Condoms prevent minivans.
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...
Good news: I learned how to build a fire. Bad news: I need a new toaster oven.
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.