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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
Sometimes words are not enough. That`s why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.