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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
Insert coin to view my status message.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
I`m curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they`re taking it out of their cars too?
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
So long pants! See you Monday!
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.