Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
When people I don’t know ask me what I do for a living I shout “Karma,” and punch them before running away.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Hash browns not tags.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!