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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Plan B includes margaritas.
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
Save time. See it my way.
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
You can lead a horse to water but I`d rather ride it to the liquor store.
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.