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Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !