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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?