Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
Even if I’m mad at my wife I should be mature enough not to flush the toilet on purpose while she’s in the shower, but it turns out I’m not.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough.
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.