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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
is "insert clever remark here."
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.