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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
My support group can outdrink your support group.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.