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Sometimes I speak in a different font but no one ever notices.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
You`re from my dreams... Or nightmares. I can`t decide which.
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
and alcohol are now friends.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.